An ironic non-existentialist view on existentialism

So I have to write a paper for philosophy next Thursday, and the rough draft is due Saturday, so it's time to get into philosophy mode now. Today, we talked about existentialism, which is the idea that we are fully responsible for our own lives and decisions, and that we are free at each moment to choose our own values. A big proponent of existentialism (besides Mr. Crocker from The Fairly OddParents, if you remember your Nickelodeon childhood movie days) was Jean-Paul Sartre, who has a quote that just hit me in the middle of class today:

"Life is nothing until it is lived, but it is yours to make sense of; the value of life is nothing other than the sense you choose."

Everything about this sentence is 1) wonderfully constructed, and 2) totally true. We determine what is valuable for us as individuals, instead of accepting the system of value that our cultures and societies set in place for us. Which leads us to the question of why things are valuable. Are they valuable because we think they are? Or are they valuable because simply, they are valuable? I think there is a lot more truth in the first question - things are how we believe and perceive them to be, and shouldn't be determined by what anyone else thinks other than ourselves. Take something you've never experienced before - let's take something trivial, like a food. You've never heard of this food item before, never seen what it looks like, tastes like, smells like, anything. You have literally no knowledge or experience of this food. Well, when you first experience that, wouldn't you then make a determination as to whether or not it's good or valuable? (Valuable in this sense means something along the lines of something that has a positive impact on your life.) You wouldn't know what the rest of the world thinks about this food so you apply your assessment of the food's value to it. The obvious counterargument is that anything could be valuable, like murder. My response to that is, alright. Fine. I mean if you really think murder is valuable, then to each his own. I'm not saying I condone murder, but I'm condoning the idea that different ideas can hold differing levels of value for different people.

We also talked about Nietzsche, who established the word "Ubermensch." Well he didn't establish it, but he used it. It means "Overman" in German, which can be considered someone who doesn't submit to any code of behavior except for his own. He doesn't conform to any majorities in society unless he believes that that is what it should be. I totally agree with that, which brings me to my blog post title. It's ironic that I'm buying into this expression of existentialism, but it just goes to show that that is what existentialism is - you believe what you wanna believe, and sucks to anyone who tells you that you can't.

Why I hate Scantrons

So I just got out of my Developmental Psych test, and it went fairly well. I'm expecting somewhere in the B range, because there were a few questions that threw me off, but I'm not talking about the content of the test. The thing with me being a math major is that I notice patterns in everyday life, even if I don't look for them. I'll see patterns in numbers, images, whatever. With Scantrons, my pattern-seeking mind actually has an impact on the future - I noticed that of the first 40 or so questions, I only answered D once (multiple choice with A-D). And there was an obnoxiously recurring pattern of A-C-C that came up about 6 or 7 times in the 75-question test. When I notice things like that, I always wonder if which option the answer is is selected randomly, or if the professor arbitrarily does it. Now the professor can say that s/he didn't know what options were selected as the correct answer before, but that doesn't mean that I can expect an equal proportion of A's, B's, etc. Patterns may arise in those situations, so I'd much rather have a professor use a random answer generator so I have no second-guessing about which answer my be right. Of course...I could just know developmental psychology better.

10 letters about March Madness

1. Dear Matt Howard,

Welcome to the Tyler Hansbrough club. You play hard all the time as a player, and you always seem to hit the clutch shots, and for this, I respect you as a player. But Jesus Christ, do I hate you.

2. Dear John Calipari,

What's the point of making it to the Final Four if these wins are gonna be vacated soon anyway?

3. Dear Selection Committee,

I can't think of an argument against having more teams in the tournament, given that one of your "First Four" is now in the Final Four. You win this round.

4. Dear Seth Greenberg,

Maybe next year. But probably not.

5. Dear Big East,

How does a team that goes 9-9 in the conference make it to the Final Four? Two words. Kemba.

6. Dear Brandon Davies,

Does she at least still love you?

7. Dear Marshall Plumlee,

It's still not too late to bail out on going to Duke - I'm sure I'm going to end up resenting you as much as I resent your brothers anyway.

8. Dear anyone who has ever felt good about their bracket heading into the tournament,

Stop kidding yourself.

9. Dear Craig Sager,

Please remember Kevin Garnett's advice.

10. Dear Brad Stevens,

Whatever happens this weekend, at least be decent in the regular season next year.

3 A.M. - Matchbox Twenty

This is a really simple tab, but I like how it sounds over the verse and pre-chorus:

(capo 1; tabs relative to capo)
e----------2h3p2--------------3------------
B--------3--------3-----------3--3----------
G------2-----------2--------0-----0--------
D----0---------------0----2---------2------
A-----------------------0-------------------
E----------------------------------------------
                D                    Cadd9
each note is an eighth note long, but the hammer-on (2h3) is a sixteenth note.
play this right when the D chord starts - this is a 2 measure long tab.

I know it's just picking the chord, but I think it sounds pretty cool, and you can play this riff with pretty much any D or Cadd9 chord. Lemme know what you think of this one if you play it!

All for You - Sister Hazel

So in taking a night off on Friday after Peer Mentor training (which was awesome, by the way), I've decided to mess around with some guitar tonight. I came up with a riff to the chorus of All for You by Sister Hazel, and I think that it sounds pretty cool on its own (and with the song, of course). So if anyone who reads this plays guitar and knows tabs, then give it a shot and maybe it will spark your own musical creation.

(capo 1; tabs relative to capo)
e-----3---------------------0---------2h3-----
B-------3------3--------------------3----------
G---------------0--0-----2-------2------------
D-----------------2-------------0--------------
A-----------3-----------0----------------------
E--3--------------------------------------------
        G           C           a         D
each note is an eighth note long

Try it out, and let me know what you think of it! More will likely follow, although I'm not sure for what songs.
(Editor's Note: This riff (and these chords) can also be used for the chorus of It's the End of the World by R.E.M., as well as the entire song Run Around by Blues Traveler.)

Time, pt. 2

So I just finished completing a survey about our (my) strengths for Peer Mentor, and it was 177 questions of introspect, which obviously brought my eyes to a gleam. A few of the questions were about how we (I (I don't know why I keep doing this)) think about time, i.e. the past, present, and future. Each question offered responses that were "I Strongly Agree with this" for each statement (of which there were two), or neutral. A lot of the questions about how we (I) think about the past/present/future really got my mind going (which was sometimes troubling, because we (I) only had 20 seconds to answer each question). I like to think about the past and future, sure, but the only time that I can act in is the present, which is always changing. As one of my good friends once told me, some guy (maybe a politician (hell if I know)) was asked what his four-year plan was, to which he responded, "You tell me what's going to happen in four years, and I'll tell you what my four-year plan is." I love that quote, because it's so true. We have no idea what's going to happen in four years, or four months, or probably even in four days. Things happen unexpectedly, and the important thing is not how we can expect the unexpected, but how we react to the unexpected, and make the most of what we're given in the present. Only then can we truly live in the present.

Time

Time is a strange concept. Sometimes we think we have too much of it, and other times we think we don't have enough. Sometimes it's moving too fast, and other times it's moving too slow. We spend tons of time trying to figure out how to best use our time, and other times we consider ourselves to be wasting time. Sometimes we want to go back in time, and other times we want to go forward in time. Sometimes we wish time would just stand still, and other times we wish time would just move right along. With all of the convolution concerning time, you would think that someone would be able to make sense of it by now. But in fact, it seems like the exact opposite - the more we think about time, the less we're actually going to have an understanding of it. And maybe that will freak you out, especially if you don't like not understanding things. Maybe you will become scared of the power that time has over all of us, and the effects it imposes on our lives. Maybe you will feel as though you can't do anything about what time changes. But I have a theory. Time is always changing, so something good is bound to happen eventually.

Methods to the Madness

After Day One of the NCAA Tournament, I already felt like my bracket was done for. I still have a Final 4 and an Elite 8, but I have a Sweet 13 in each of my two brackets, which I always seem to struggle with in the Round of 64. (I can't say first round anymore, because that was the Round of 68. They just need 64 teams, and no more. Keep it simple NCAA.) The first bracket I filled out was my legitimate bracket, where I have Ohio St., Duke, Notre Dame, and BYU in the Final 4. I don't like going with too many 1 seeds, since all four 1 seeds have made the Final 4 only once. My other bracket was originally going to have the other team win the games I would second-guess myself on (e.g. Duke over UConn, Ohio St. over UNC), but that turned into a complete mess. I had Old Dominion beating Pitt in the second round (that worked out well), I have Duke losing to Texas in the Sweet 16 (which is weird, because I had no problem with Duke beating Texas in my first bracket), and St. John's in the Elite 8. So I don't have two Elite 8s...I was kinda hoping that since the NCAA Tournament is always unpredictable, if I made a ridiculous bracket, then I could get lucky....turns out that was just a stupid idea. There comes a point every March where I realize I'm not going to win any pools, and begin rooting for Duke to win every game...but I never thought that would come on Day Two.

Cue the indie rock montage

Baseball hasn't even started yet, and I already want summer. I'm getting too far ahead of myself these days, always looking forward to the next exciting thing. I don't see that as a bad thing, but I do need to enjoy life right now for a while. I mean come on...March Madness is in full swing, the first half of spring break has been fantastic, and the weather is finally getting warm. But there's so much to look forward to: Opening Day at Fenway is only about 3 weeks away, the Relay for Life at Stonehill is a day after that, I'll be home for summer in less than 2 months, Stonehill Orientation (from the other side now) is not too far away...but the one thing I'm really looking forward to is just straight chilling at night during the summer with my friends. There was something about the summer after our senior year that made it special. Fresh off graduation and looking forward to a fresh start...it was like we owned the world for a few months, doing what we wanted, when, where, and how we wanted to do it. But I would always love just sitting around doing nothing at night. Outside with the world around you, so far away, yet right at home. And cue the indie rock montage as the end scene fades into glorious bliss.

At the end of a multitude of House episodes, the last couple of minutes consists of a montage of each character, with some indie rock song that 3% of people have ever heard of playing. It usually shows a hint of happiness in every character, this melancholic happiness that intertwines perfectly with the music. These episode endings aren't designed to leave the viewer surprised, or even wondering about next week's episode. As the avid House fan I am, I'm left somewhat disappointed by these endings, because I want the thrill of the unpredictability that House thrives on. But in the right moment, these indie rock montages just capture the brilliance of everything. They give whoever is watching their own melancholic contentment, with the sense of self-satisfaction in our own life. I'm very satisfied with where I'm at in life right now, but damn...I wish I could have this satisfaction in summer right now.

Red Sunshine

Do you ever notice that when you're riding in the car on the highway, and it's sunny out, that when you close your eyes, the sun shines through the trees and the inside of your eyelids alternates between black and red? That's cool.

10 stumbleupons that made me laugh

1. The Average Asian Aging Process

2. Mature People Truths

3. Courtroom Quotations

4. Still Life Objects

5. Funny Sports Signs

6. Determinism

7. How to Make Money

8. Politics Explained

9. How to Keep an Idiot Busy

10. The AOLer Translator

Almost Home

I’m typing this from my laptop at KinderCare, observing pre-kindergarten and kindergarten kids for a couple of hours, just watching how they go about their day. It’s great to see such enthusiasm out of these kids, because the derivative of my enthusiasm is certainly negative right now (+3 if you understand the calculus reference). Twenty-four hours from now and I will be on my way home to spring break, but it still feels as though there is a lot for me to do in these next 24 hours. Peer Mentor dinner, studying for my Calc test tomorrow, a Relay for Life Captains meeting, French homework, and a mega-unwinding with my friends is in line for tonight. Tomorrow is a little easier with French class in the morning, and a Calc test being the only thing separating me from Stonehill and Watertown after that. Hopefully I can find something to keep me going strong for this last night and day. Maybe the scooter ride to my residence hall and dinner with the most enthusiastic people at Stonehill will make me more chipper.

60=1

Hours removed from the Peer Mentor Retreat, I can already tell what a special group of people this is going to be. I knew no more than ten of these people a month ago, and now I feel as though I have connected with or to each and every one of them. It is empowering to experience firsthand the enthusiasm that we all share and contribute, as well as the understanding that we are all striving towards a common goal. It is going to be something else to be on this kind of team, where 60-plus people offer 60-plus different perspectives and roles as a cohesive unit. I feel as though I need to get all of these thoughts down before I forget them, because then they lose their transcendence over day-to-day life.

Sweet Innocence

Sweet Innocence,

Wash away the imperfections of the world
with your freshness and enthusiasm.

Blossom with the scent of spring
and brighten each day like only you can.

Come to me like a newborn baby,
smiling and curious about the world around him.

Be what you are,
and don't question it.

Togetherness

look at the people around you.
look into their eyes, into their heart, and into their soul.
there is some good in everyone, even if you can't see it.
you just have to be patient.

This is why I love House

I'm surprised at myself that this is only the second time I've really talked about House. (The first time, of course, came at the conception of my blog.) I was flipping through the channels and the latter part of the season 6 premiere ("Broken") was on as part of a USA House Marathon (God bless USA House Marathons). Anyway, House was talking to his psychologist (Nolan) about pain he caused another man in the psych ward, and Nolan told House to apologize to him. Nolan said that House should "Let yourself feel better. Then you can learn to let yourself…keep feeling better." I won't offer too much of an interpretation at this moment, but at least think about that for a second. Let yourself feel better, so you can learn to let yourself keep feeling better.

34 going on 60

Oh, how I wish spring were officially here. This is the fourth day of unofficial spring (according to me), and this has been the most spring-y day so far. It's sunny, but it's only 34 degrees outside. But 34 degrees right now feels like 60. It's probably due to the lack of a cloud in the sky and it's Friday and the Peer Mentor Retreat is tonight, but today feels good.

10 ideas for blog posts that I never finished

It's been a while since I had a post about 10 things, which is the direct result of me not being able to think of 10 of anything. However, I think I have enough to work with here, since it has been so long since my last "10..." post.

1. 10 differences between first and second semester. I literally had this as my post title 90 seconds ago, but promptly decided that there was no way I was going to find 10 differences without making a few stretches.

2. Talking about epic things. One day I wanted to blog about Inception and all its awesomeness, and decided to have a series of blog posts dedicated to things worthy of awe, but then decided I didn't have enough to work with. I'm not sure why that stopped me from blogging about only Inception, however.

3. 10 reasons the Red Sox will win the AL East. I don't think they need ten. I don't think I could come up with ten. But for the record, the pitching is back, we actually have a bullpen now, and our lineup is stacked. Boom.

4. This blog post. I really thought I had more than 3 things that I erased from my pending posts. Maybe I did and I can't remember them right now...in either case, I think this suffices as some terrific irony to end this meek blog post.

On a separate note, if there's anything you'd like to see me blog about, leave a comment! At the very worst, it will end up on this list some day.

Observations

So I just got out of history class and have roughly 10 minutes for this blog post before calculus, so here goes.

I noticed something in history class today. No girls wear sneakers anymore. Like come on ladies, what's wrong with a pair of sneakers these days? Sure, it's barely spring (for those who don't know, I consider the start of spring to be March 1st. When it's 65 and sunny on March 19th, I'm not calling it winter, so the start of the month is a nice arbitrary day for me), but all I see anymore are Uggs, rainboots, other boots, and moccasins. That's just my petty annoyance from that.

Another thing I noticed in history that isn't as petty is the word 'like.' Rather, the filler 'like.' Because hardly anyone uses 'like' in its proper context anymore. Don't get me wrong, I misuse it sometimes too, but I like to think (and am pretty sure) that I don't use it every 4-6 words like some people in their conversations. So I've decided to arbitrarily pseudo-judge people's intelligence based on how frequently they say 'like' in conversation.

And, finally, door holding. Apparently it's some sacred culture here at Stonehill, and my literature professor from last semester couldn't say enough about it. People hold doors 1) more frequently than they should, and 2) for longer than they should. When I am at least seven paces away, by the time I arrive at the door, had you not been holding it, it would have been closed. I am perfectly capable of opening a door, thank you very much. I understand the attempt at politeness, but is that where we should be putting our politeness into? Instead of holding doors open for 5 seconds, let's try and sound more intelligible in conversation. It's just like better.

(See what I did there? It's actually not just like better because it sounds dumb.)