Wednesday, October 31, 2012

I'm still alive and everything

^ That was the subject title of the email I just sent my AP Stats teacher from high school (Ms. Trenholm, who I've mentioned here before). I decided that emailing her for the first time in four months was more important than continuing my Physics homework (which it totally was). Four months is a lot to have to fill someone in on, which I suppose is just an indication that it shouldn't always take that long to check in with people you haven't talked to in a while. But what's always good about those people you talk to and have talked to, is that you will talk to them, and it will seem as though it were only yesterday since you last spoke. People might come in and out of your life from time to time, but the ones that keep coming back left enough of an imprint at some point that they won't go anywhere. Sometimes, you just have to let them know that you're still alive and everything.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Hurricane Sandy running diary

Damn straight I'm doing a running diary today...despite the fact that this Monday will be like any other Monday for me as of 2:15pm (when I would normally get out of class), not many Mondays have hurricane status updates. Which is badass, and thus requires a running diary. Not entirely sure how long this will last (the duration of the hurricane seems like a fair starting point), but I'm not sure of a lot of things I end up blogging about.

12:13pm: I have to remember today to keep looking at my computer screen for the time instead of my iHome, which I unplugged last night in case power went out. Whenever I plug it back in, it starts at noon, so by my watch now, it's 16 minutes ahead. Then again, I could always just change the time...

12:31: You know when the windows in the car are so rainy on the outside that you roll down the windows to clean the water off? I want to do that to the window in my room, except that I would get hurricaned if that happened. Oops.

1:03: When the speed of the wind is faster than the speed of the rain, and thus makes it rain in all different directions, it becomes either really cool or really concerning. I guess that depends on whether or not you're dry.

1:09: I'm only waiting for the moment my storm window breaks and the rain starts to pellet my actual window. At that point, it's only a matter of time before New Hall falls to the ground.

2:23: Days off from school are good for two things. Actually, three, but there might be some mutually exclusiveness involved. Days off are good for doing nothing, getting ahead on your homework, and watching The Price is Right.

4:17: I suppose the previous couple of hours would be filed under "doing nothing..." suite bonding has consisted of cleaning the suite, knee hockey, Stratego, and NHL12. Just a typical hurricane in New Hall 415.

4:47: I don't think I've actually talked about the weather at any point today...this is more of a what-I-do-today diary than anything about the hurricane...uh, it's pretty windy and rainy outside, and it's wet...yep...definitely wet outside...

7:21: Right now, it's about the midway point between when Stonehill said they would decide on whether or not to cancel class, and when they changed their decision time (9:00). Tensions continue to be pretty light, but restlessness is increasing as the winds and rain pick up outside.

8:32: Gotta love the fake listserv about classes being cancelled. Even better might've been everyone's initial reactions to it, and then everyone's reactions to realizing that it wasn't real. I wonder how everything will play out in half an hour...

9:17: Well, we have class. Not really surprised after this one, since Stonehill's been pretty adamant about having classes for us. Which I'm totally fine with, because this is why we're here and everything. No one's paying tens of thousands of dollars to not go to class...I could do that for free. So I suppose this should conclude my day-long running diary of Hurricane Sandy. Which, in hindsight, turned out to be me coming back to my computer every once in a while to type whatever I was doing. Which officially puts this running diary third in my list of three running diaries, as far as how much I enjoyed it. Better idea heading into it than it ended up being, but hey. Live and let learn.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

Seven credits, ten classes

^ That's what I need and what I have to graduate after next semester's completion. I need 23 credits to graduate, and I'll be taking 16 next semester. After that, I'll have the entirety of senior year to finish those seven credits...which I'll be about 25 over on, much to my delight. I just finished some moderation of my four-year plan, and for the first time in over two years, can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel. Instead of just getting my math major done one way or another, and probably throwing some semblance of a psych minor together, I'll end up double-majoring in the two, with room for a few electives. When everything's all said and done, I think I'll be able to say that every semester included at least 16 credits, had class every day of the week, had five classes, blah blah blah. On what legitimacy I have to complain, I don't know...whatever, man. I know I'm doing this all to myself so I probably shouldn't complain, and I don't really think I am, despite the tone this post has seemed to have taken on. To hell with it. I'm here, right? Might as well take as many classes as I can without going nuts...

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Thinking spaces

I've never been one who's big on traveling. At any point in my life, really. I dunno, I kinda just wouldn't seem that impressed by certain things. My dad would love to go see the Grand Canyon, and I'm probably totally underestimating it, but it just seems like a giant crater in the earth. I don't really know how much (or what) I'd get out of being somewhere like that.

Where I do want to travel, or at least insert myself in the place of, is where thinking happened. Namely, a thinking space. I have my own on campus -- the waterfall with the weird statue right outside Martin, where I just like to sit and listen to the rushing water. I've end-of-the-year blogged there before, and I plan to at least one more time. But that's six minutes from where I live on campus...what about a place where others have thought?

My main (and currently only) place I would like to be is the Monahans Sand Dunes, in Texas. Why the hell would I want to go to Texas? Well, it's where Explosions in the Sky got the inspiration for The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place. On their website, they talk about the creation of each of their albums. Regarding the sand dunes, they say, "This place is hard to describe. You're just surrounded by weird, untouched desert. And you can see all the stars in the sky. Michael once described it as 'like being on another planet.'" Any other weird, untouched desert would be exactly that to me (boring), but to know that the band laid on the sand and listened to music, which was the beginning of the album falling into place...just seems like something I'd be all over.


Monday, October 22, 2012

What breaks you?

I think that by now, you have a pretty good idea of how much I enjoy listening to Explosions in the Sky. Namely, The Earth is Not a Cold Dead Place and how much that album and its contents are a part of me. A part of my core, or my essence. There is a lot in life that builds our core and creates our essence, and there are also many avenues in which we have the opportunity to put forth what that essence is. It all comes from the core of who we are. But exactly who are we? Who am I? Who are you? Think about that...who you are. Think about what you've built around your core to create the true essence of your soul. (In this context, "soul" pertains more to the core of us as humans, instead of the conventional, metaphysical use.) Seems like a self-reflection that you may have already encountered, which wouldn't be all too surprising. But now, think about why you built around your core. Why we all have some sort of essence that fulfills our soul.

To me, we have this soul/core/essence ordeal set in place in order to protect us from that which breaks us. There's something out there that has more power over anything else, and that is whatever has the capacity to break us. Again, referring to the core of us as humans. Something that absolutely consumes you and controls every aspect of your mind and body. For me, I'm not sure what that is yet. I don't know what breaks me. This concept is still fairly novel to me. That being said, I know exactly how to build up to that moment of feeling as close to broken as you can be.

7:30, "The Only Moment We Were Alone." When I feel most alive. Although I believe there's somewhat of an addendum to that, to feeling most alive then. I think that we feel most alive when we are closest to death. Think about driving on the highway, where a car almost clips you going 85 miles per hour. Your heart is pounding out of your chest. Think about looking down from the 20th story of a building, knowing that you wouldn't survive a fall. Same feeling. When I listen to that part of the song, it's the same thing, except quieter, since I know it's coming. The chills start running throughout me...I can feel my breathing getting heavier. The slow buildup of everything creates that feeling of nothing going on, but everything going on at the same time. And then the floodgates open. Everything seems to pour out as though a dam just broke. Except it's not a dam...it's me.

Think about what breaks you. Something that threatens the core of your being, your soul. Don't run, because it will follow you. Let it control you. It's okay, because it's only temporary. Let yourself feel as close to broken as you can possibly be. Feel how alive you are. That feeling is real. It's your core.

"They didn't break me. I am broken."
-House, "Broken"

Sunday, October 21, 2012

I Believe

Alright, it took a couple days after it happened, but here it is. All about Stonehill's nationally televised football game against #3 New Haven, and the epic 45-41 loss that lasted almost four hours.

As for the game itself -- literally the best football game I've ever seen. Both teams played tremendously well. New Haven made it very clear why they're ranked third in the nation - an offense that absolutely does not stop, and a defense that can completely shut down the running game. Not to mention that they went 6-0 without their quarterback. The QB that we all saw was playing in his first game of the season...pretty impressive. The game was filled with lead changes, long drives, defensive stops, high-energy plays, and lots of tension. Stonehill football put the program on the map, against a team that many people thought they had no business coming within double-digits of. Yet here we were, one third-down stop from a nationally televised upset.

But, as usually is the case with Stonehill sports and my blog posts, it's not always about the game. This post is no exception - this is about the fans. That was easily one of, if not the best sports environment I've ever been a part of. Including two World Series games, BC basketball games against North Carolina and Duke, and a couple of awesome Stonehill/Bentley basketball games. This was my favorite night at Stonehill during a school year ever, and almost was better than Playfair. To put anything near the same level as Playfair is one of the highest honors I can send out. And it's because everyone was putting everything they could into this game. As drained as I was after the contest, I felt that others were just as emotionally and physically exhausted as I was. But guess what? This doesn't have to be the exception!!!! It wasn't as though we brought in another school to come cheer with us...what everyone saw was Stonehill. This is what it could be like every week, peeps. Football has the potential for one home playoff game, and everyone better be at that one. There was such an awesome environment at the New Haven game that I don't want it to go to waste. I don't want people to say, "Remember how fun being at the New Haven game was?" No. I want people to say, "Remember how fun going to football games was?" Same goes for basketball. The Bentley game is my favorite of the season, because everyone goes, and everyone goes nuts. But why can't every game be like that?!

Sure, not every game is nationally televised against one of the top teams in the country, with a thousand free t-shirts and rally towels. But every game is free, at Stonehill, and features a damn good team. That should be reason enough. So, this is my call to everyone. Imploring you to get absolutely pumped up for Midnight Madness, and to make sure that this Thursday isn't the most-attended basketball event of the year. Here are some quick tips on what to bring to games:


  • Yourself! Trust me, it's so much fun going to basketball games. I know I'm only talking football and basketball here, but whatever sport you want to support, go support them. Be at the games.
  • Purple stuff. Everyone should have some kind of purple t-shirt. Wear it when you go to the game. Bring the rally towel, or a cowbell, or a vuvuzela, or whatever.
  • Noise. See above for some material examples, but your voice is always killer. Yell, scream, chant, cheer, and get involved in the game.
  • Someone else. Literally one person. Then tell that one person to bring someone, and so on. Everyone has friends, everyone knows someone. Get them to go with you. Lather, rinse, repeat.
I'm not trying to sound like I'm the greatest fan of sports at Stonehill, because I'm not. I don't want to be. (My voice can't hold up that long.) But I want everyone to feel excited about going to sports games for the team, not because it's something to do on a Saturday afternoon. Alright, I'm done. I've more than made my point...I hope. GO TO GAMES!


Monday, October 15, 2012

60 feet, 6 inches

One of the best quotes I ever read about pitching went something like this - if you have one pitch working for you in a game, you'll keep your team in the game. If you have two pitches working well, you'll give your team a chance to win. And if you have three pitches going, you'll dominate. Seems like the most true thing I ever heard. The cool part is that I created a metaphor from that for life. A metaphor, in my opinion, much more fleshed out than the first time I tried this. Think of your three pitches as the three aspects of college life - your school/work, your interactions with others, and your free time for yourself.

Your school and work is your fastball. You know it's going to be there, everyone else knows it's going to be there, and you absolutely have to establish it early in the game. Throw strikes, pound the zone, and everything will work off your fastball.

Your interactions with others can be thought of as your curveball. Not in the sense that life throws you curveballs - I prefer to stay on the pitching side of curveballs, as opposed to the batting side. The curveball is something you can throw in as a wrinkle, something to offset the fastball. It's just something to keep the hitters honest, in the same way that everyone needs some form of social interaction after long enough.

Finally, the changeup is your free time for yourself. The overlooked, yet crucial pitch in any repertoire. With the free time you have for yourself, you can use it so much to your advantage, that you can get by with a fastball and a changeup. Throw in the curve every now and then, and you'll keep hitters off guard. Changeups set up the fastball - using some free time for school work sets up the fastball to be that much more effective. And there's nothing wrong with a changeup that's supposed to start as a ball. We all need a pitch with low expectations every once in a while. At the very worst, it's a setup pitch for the next one.

So there's your arsenal. Three pitches that you can work together into a successful outing. And once you get into a rhythm of pitching, the next pitch almost seems to call itself - after an inside fastball, a changeup off the plate might be good. Pitching, like college, is all about the mindset, and the execution once the mindset is strong.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

I want a standing ovation

No, I don't mean the one during Orientation where you scream it as loud as you can, people come running over to lift you onto their shoulders, and everyone around starts cheering for you. Although that would be pretty nice.

I want one of those standing ovations that pitchers get after they get pulled from an incredible outing, or after they finish what they know will be their last inning of the game. Kind of like Derek Holland's departure from Game 4 of the 2011 World Series, coming off 8 1/3 shutout innings in front of the home crowd. Something really nice and humbling where you walk off the field to the tens of thousands of fans cheering for you. Maybe a nice tip of the cap; always a nice touch. Given that I probably won't play organized baseball for a while, especially not on front of thousands of fans, this might never happen. But it is always awesome to see it happen in the MLB, knowing that some dude just went out there and threw a gem.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Family

Well, life goes on.

This morning, we laid my great aunt to rest, with her husband, next to her mother. As I've thrown out many times here, I'm not totally on one side or the other of religion - some times I'm buying into everything, and other times, I kind of just stand off in the distance, watching and wondering if any of it means anything in the grand scheme of the universe. And what I felt, today, is that all of the traditions and customs took a back seat to something bigger, something intangible - family. Family is something that pushes me towards religion, instead of away from it. Burials, independent of any other burial that's ever happened, could be entirely meaningless to me. But being buried with and next to the people you love, where everyone can see the headstones...I feel the meaning in that. And I've felt the meaning of family over the last couple of days. Something Aunt B always stressed, especially during our phone calls when I'd be at school. She'd always tell me how much it meant to have such a loving family, and children who would call her, even if for only a few minutes. I believed her, and knew that we've always been a close family (taking it outside the sense of my sister and parents), but have never actually felt it as strong as I have in the last two days.

I don't want a family member passing away to have to rekindle such a strong sense of the word, but maybe it has to be that way. Maybe then will it be conserved. I've never really thought about the exact emotional connotation of the concept of family. It's kind of like home, in a sense of the concept and feeling. But right here, right now, isn't the place nor time for me to figure this out. It takes time, contemplation, effort.

I'm not expecting my experience to shape what you think about the definition or semantic association with "family," so I won't pretend that it will, or has. What I do hope is that it gets you thinking about your own experiences. Times when you felt the presence of family. Create your own meaning. Assign your own values to the term, and live in the experiences that come out of those values.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Predicting the 2012 MLB playoffs

Despite how impossibly easy it is for me to conceive of a 2012 postseason without our beloved Red Sox, there is still one way I can talk about baseball without having to relive the horror that was April 5th, 2012, to October 3rd, 2012. More on the firing of Bobby Valentine later, but in the same style as my 2011 predictions, here goes nothing:

League Division Series
Yankees vs. Orioles
Yes, I'm continuing to ride the hot streak of the Baltimore Orioles, now lasting an approximate six months. They'll beat the Rangers and finally get the chance to face the Yankees, an opportunity they haven't had since early September. I think the Orioles have more pitching than the Yankees, and with the first two games of the series in Baltimore, they find a way to get the upper hand heading into New York. The Yankees are good, but Baltimore has been too good for too long for me not to think they can keep it up.

Athletics vs. Tigers
How can you pick against Oakland? A team that has been playing very well, and quietly so, also has the young pitching to shut down the Tigers' offense. Justin Verlander has pitched very well against Oakland (2-0 in 2012), but as we saw last year, it's the hot teams that ride the postseason train. Oakland moves on after a grueling five-game set that no one pays attention to because of the Yankees/Orioles matchup.

Nationals vs. Braves
Bud Selig got very lucky when it became evident that the Braves and Cardinals would have a one-game playoff to determine who moves on in the playoffs - the exact same scenario that would have happened last year, barring the total collapse of Atlanta. This could be the most exciting of the LDS matchups because of the pitching on both sides. It's young, effective, and backed by a good-enough offense. I don't have much confidence in this pick, but I like Washington. I'm not really sure why, but I do.

Reds vs. Giants
The Giants just don't seem to do it for me. They lack an incredible offense, and despite their strength in pitching, their bullpen has been very shaky for most of the second half. Cincinnati has turned it up several notches and has the back end to finish games. Cincinnati moves on easily.

League Championship Series
Athletics vs. Orioles
Didn't see this one coming in April, huh? The best part is that one of them has to move on. I think that being bad for so long finally caught up to Baltimore - all of their young players seemed to click at the same time. (As opposed to, say, the Boston Red Sox. There, I said it. We suck.) Which is what Oakland's players seem to be one or two years off from doing. I think that both of these teams can contend in their respective divisions, and that their 2012 season wasn't a fluke. As far as who moves on to the World Series, I like Baltimore. With the momentum that any team has coming into the postseason, Baltimore is the one that can win any game: an AL-best 46-35 road record, SIXTEEN extra inning wings, and a 29-9 record in one-run games. Baltimore edges out Oakland to move on to its first World Series since 1983.

Nationals vs. Reds
Of every possible LCS matchup, this seems to be the most appealing. It's seemed pretty clear that these have been the two best teams in the National League, especially since July, and both teams have the tools to win a championship. However, Washington seems to have the edge across the board, despite the recent tear the Reds' offense has been on. Pitching wins championships, and Washington's corps will tame the Reds offense more than Cincinnati's pitchers can slow down the Nationals' offense. It's a Baltimore/Washington World Series, something I totally didn't plan, but love how it played out.

World Series
Nationals vs. Orioles
Everyone always speculates at playoff time what the worst World Series matchup would be for the TV ratings. (Editor's Note: Oakland/Cincinnati. Who would care?) I think that this matchup has potential to be one of the most-watched, being two teams who haven't seen the World Series in a long time, and playing in the same area. As far as the baseball goes, no one has been able to stop the Nationals this year. They were swept by the Dodgers in April, losing three games by four runs. Sweeps by the Yankees, Philadelphia, and Atlanta, but never getting blown out. Nothing they couldn't overcome. With Strasburg, they have an unstoppable pitching staff. Without him, they have had four guys who have stepped up across the board. The pitching takes Washington to the top, winning the World Series in their first appearance.

So, there it is. Winners from every series. Logically, I think I make sense. Then again, there's a pretty good chance that all of these could be wrong. Probably that one. Oh well...

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Conservation of love

This isn't really something I'm planning on going into a whole lot of depth on. Partly because I don't really know what detail it consists of, partly because I've bawled my eyes out enough tonight, and partly because life goes on. Physics homework, editing and printing a paper, and some self-fulfillment of my soul are necessary before I go to sleep tonight. This is going to work on the latter.

Right now, I imagine love kind of like matter or energy. Granted, I didn't think this until only a couple of days ago, but I think that this is something I'll believe for a very long time. Energy and matter are conserved, meaning that none is ever lost. There are probably lots of other things I could say about that to make it more understandable, but I'll leave it at this.

Love is like this. Never lost. Namely in someone's passing. Yeah, when someone whom we love, and loves us, leaves us, we've lost that love with that person. But it's not destroyed. It is conserved and sent elsewhere. In the hearts of the ones closest to us, in the hearts of those closest to who we've lost. We still love that person we've lost, even if they might not be around to see it. Everyone else who remains with us will see it, and have a little part of their own love to keep, and to share with everyone else.

Think of a snow globe. Or any sphere, or container, or whatever. I like the idea of a snow globe. Everything is contained. Nothing comes in, nothing goes out. Love is a snow globe.