One Summer, Many Rooms

Go find some headphones, put them on, and listen to contemplative music. Something quiet and soothing, that lets you get away from all of your concerns, worries, or fears for a few minutes. Seriously, go do it. Do it before you read any more. I believe that music makes good things better, and if you find any of what I've written below to be good, I want it to be better.

It currently stands at 6:28 p.m., on Thursday, May 10th, 2012. I say that because that's how I started off my final post from Stonehill my freshman year, and it's how I want to start off the last one of my sophomore year. I am at approximately the same location - a few hundred feet from where I was last year, using the same laptop, listening to the same piece of Lost music that I found so beautiful 367 days ago. The sky is clearing to my right, and the smell of rain lingers in the air. My post last year was about the meaning of life, and did not really encapsulate the year as a whole. Not much of what I will try and write here does that, either.

What I will say, upon reflection, is that I learned how to ask different questions about myself this year. Last year, having been in a philosophy class in the spring, I was granted many an opportunity to reflect, and figure out what I believe. This year, I've been a little more unquestioning, but that doesn't mean I stopped learning about myself. I learned that relationships can be more delicate and profound that you may think. Not just with significant people in your life, but with anybody. I think of the seniors at Stonehill that I've gotten to know over the last two years, and I wonder what things will be like between us. Some I am closer with than others, and I hope to keep in touch with most of them, but how realistic can it be? People go their own ways, and that's that. I trust that some day, I'll run into the ones I had ended up wanting to stay in touch with, anyway. I've found that the universe operates like that, sometimes.

But like I said, this isn't so much about looking back as it is about looking forward. There are a number of exciting things in store for me this summer, and they all happen in different rooms. Literally. I'll be going home for two weeks, to see my friends and family, and to make the most out of the short time I have there before I return to Stonehill for the summer. I'm incredibly excited to have the opportunity to be at Stonehill over the summer, in different contexts. At the end of June, I will move into O'Hara or the Sem for Orientation, and have another incredible experience with the team over those ten days. I will visit home often, see Vicki in Plymouth often, and go down to the Cape when I can. Many rooms.

I'm not melancholic as I write this, or as I think about leaving Stonehill for the year. Over this year, I've realized that there will always be a handful of friends that I'll be away from - whether it's my home friends during the school year, my Stonehill friends during the summer, or anybody else who comes and goes, I might never be with all of my friends at one time. And that's the beauty of life. It's not perfect. But think about this - I will always be with some group of friends, at any given time. Whether it's my Watertown friends over the summer, my Stonehill friends during the school year, when I see Vicki in Plymouth, when the SURE Scholars have lunch on Wednesdays, when my friends and I live in the same suite next year, when I come to Watertown for our five-year reunion...that's the real beauty of life. That it actually is perfect.

You might not believe any of what I'm saying; in that case, good for you. You know what your beliefs are, and you're sticking by them. But if you have any sliver of curiosity that what I'm saying makes absolutely perfect sense, think about it for yourself. Find a place where you can be at peace with yourself, listen to music without words, and let all of the emotion and thoughts seep into your mind. Think about the love in your life. The preciousness of every day, and the joy that we get to spend it with the people we love and care for.

It is 6:45 p.m., and it is still Thursday, May 10th, 2012. I'm telling you that because I'm telling it to myself, for when I look back at this post and see that it took seventeen minutes to get to this sentence right here.

Look at that. Look at this sentence. What you are reading is real. It happened, and it's a part of life. It was a part of my life when I typed it, but now that you're reading it right now, it's a part of your life. It is real.

This is real. How awesome is that?