2014 Home Run Derby running diary

Who doesn't love large men using wooden sticks to hit baseballs very, very far? And who doesn't love a varsity high school career .125 hitter blogging about it? I did a running diary of the All-Star Game last year, but we'll switch it up this time around.

8:02pm Apparently this is in a rain delay? That's a thing?? Disclaimer: this running diary is now subject to me falling asleep in a couple of hours.

8:04 So this thing is broken down bracket-style this year, and you can find all the rules and hitters in the competition over to the right. My pick is Jose Bautista, which I made sure to sneak in on Twitter about 15 minutes ago. Just in case I'm right.

8:08 One of my favorite things ever is when someone is speaking Spanish and all of a sudden something like "Home Run Derby" leaves their lips.

8:26 Adam Wainwright, while not hitting any home runs in this competition, has still been talked about as the named starter for the National League in tomorrow night's All-Star Game. I think that he doesn't get the credit he deserves as one of the best pitchers in the game, and he'll have the chance to make even more of a name for himself tomorrow.

8:31 They should totally let these guys use an aluminum bat when they're down to their final out. Nothing was better than watching the baseball go 650 feet with the aluminum power in Backyard Baseball.

8:35 HOLD on, was that just Jack Edwards broadcasting the 1998 Little League World Series featuring Todd Frazier?

8:36 Hold on, Todd Frazier was in the Little League World Series in 1998? I was in Little League in 2003...this is foolish.

8:46 Derek Jeter is such a class act. Respects the game, respects the players and his place in history...there's a great article about him written by Jayson Stark that you can read here. Perfectly captures his character.

8:48 Alright, this seven-minute conversation with Jeter is great and all, but the fact that they're airing it for this long makes me think that this Home Run Derby isn't starting for some time.

8:54 You know that point in a three-hour movie where you decide that it's definitely past the point that you think the movie should keep playing? That's how I feel about Chris Berman announcing the Home Run Derby every year.

8:59 I'd like to believe that this will be quicker than Home Run Derbies in years past, and it better, because I'll be damned if I see the other side of 11:00 tonight.

9:02 Yeah, that's totally Jack Edwards announcing the 1998 Little League World Series. Love that man.

9:03 It's still raining at Target Field, which I'm sure has an effect on the home runs being hit, but all of the guys with microphones at this thing are making a huge deal about all the strategy and such...at least from me, I don't care about the strategy, or who's pitching...I just wanna see dudes hit baseballs really far.

9:06 Todd Frazier on the board with the first home run of the Derby, and a rainbow shines over the field, and it'll be all over Twitter pretty soon. Here's an awesome double rainbow at Fenway Park.

9:09 In case you had never thought about this before, Brian Dozier looks exactly like Paul "Fitzy" Fitzgerald, Boston YouTube hero.

9:13 The two most underrated parts about any given Home Run Derby - little kids running to catch every fly ball in the outfield, and those random people who are selected to win a house or something if their Derby hitter wins the competition.

9:15 Just found out on Twitter that it's 56 degrees in Minnesota right now. It's Twitter, so it's definitely true, making it the coldest Derby ever. Two hitters with two HR apiece, as Frazier and Dozier haven't really done much.

9:17 Alright, instead of people getting houses, it's children getting baseball equipment and a field refurbishment. That's pretty cool too, I guess.

9:23 Four home runs for Troy Tulowitzki and it's time for my pick, Jose Bautista, to take to the batter's box.

9:27 It's great to see everyone's reactions to fans either catching or dropping home run balls. There needs to be a compilation video on YouTube one of these days.

9:28 And we have our first non-HR-Derby-player-interacting-with-a-batter as Robinson Cano gives Bautista some Gatorade. Riveting stuff, people. Ten home runs for Bautista and my pick to win it all is sitting pretty after two batters for each side.

9:37 Seven consecutive outs for explosive star Yasiel Puig, and he somehow still gets an ovation from the crowd. Took him about two minutes to finish the whole thing. Maybe next year, kid.

9:43 Four home runs for Adam Jones, and Jose Bautista is still the only person with a higher total (10). It's shaping up to be a quick Home Run Derby this year.

9:45 Hold on, they have high school players hitting home runs in between the MLB guys doing it? That makes no sense...

9:50 Time for Giancarlo Stanton, otherwise known as Mike Stanton, otherwise known (apparently) as Giancarlo Cruz Michael Stanton. Take your pick.

9:51 Despite anything you might think, Stanton is actually from California. Here's a picture of the most American batting sleeve ever, as he starts crushing baseballs 430 feet.

9:55 Did I say 430 feet? I meant 510 feet. FAR.

9:59 Josh Donaldson up now for the American League, but I'm thinking about some kind of MLB Skills Competition. Bunting down the lines, accurate throws from the outfield, pickoff attempts or something like that...maybe not...three for Donaldson and one hitter remains for each team in the first round.

10:04 Alright, I'm tired of all these Chevrolet commercials. Give me Bob Seger or give me death!

10:06 Cool moment for Justin Morneau, longtime Minnesota Twin, as he steps into the box for his round. He ends up with two home runs, same as Todd Frazier, so they'll have one of these swing-off shenanigans to determine who makes it into the next round.

10:14 Yoenis Cespedes, 2013 Derby champ, gets some advice from fellow Cuban Jose Abreu (29 HR this season so far (that's a lot)) before his final out. He ends up with as many homers as his teammate, Donaldson, and we'll spend the next 10 minutes in swing-off world, which I don't like. The tiebreaker in the first round should be distance of all home runs.

10:20 Frazier wins the NL swing-off by a resounding 1-0 score, a result that will likely be the final for the AL. Go overtime! Cespedes takes it 2-1 over Donaldson, and we have our second round. Guess I'm not getting eight hours of sleep tonight...

10:28 I love the old Home Run Derby. Always used to be on ESPN Classic, which I totally wish was still on cable.

10:32 Picture of the night - Jeff Samardzija, currently an Oakland Athletic, shown not wearing an American nor National League jersey. He was traded from the Cubs a couple weeks ago, made the National League All-Star squad, but will sit in the AL dugout tomorrow night. Awesome.

10:37 Looks like it'll be Frazier and Stanton in the National League final - Cespedes and Adam Jones will square off for the right to face Bautista.

10:48 Alright, I'm fading. Quickly losing interest in this, but I feel as though I need to keep powering through. But there's at least another 45 minutes of this left, and I'll be damned if I go to sleep at 11:30 for the second night in a row. Sorry world...but let's be honest, if you actually made it all the way to this point, you'd probably benefit from something other than the Home Run Derby. So, I leave you with this.