Why I'm deleting Facebook

It is important for me to share that the deletion of my Facebook account has nothing to do with New Year's resolutions. I've been meaning to do this for a while, and right now seems like a good time to do it. Before that happens, as always, some thoughts...

It's interesting to me exactly how I'm going about this. Over the past month or so, I've been priming myself for this to happen - saving pictures I wanted, rereading through old message conversations with friends, removing the app from my phone, and the bookmark in my browser. Kudos to you if you go cold turkey, but I've learned too much psychology to be able to do that. Anyone who finds their way to these pages often enough knows that I frequently introduce blog posts on Facebook and Twitter. This is unsurprisingly where a lot of page views come from. (I can see as much as anyone that people rarely actively seek out this blog.) I still care about saying what I want to say, and I still care about those who take the time to read it, but there's just nothing useful on Facebook anymore.

I have 462 friends on Facebook, and I wish I could confidently come up with an accurate number, but I will say that no more than 75 of them are people I would keep in touch with on a minimal basis, let alone regular. Maybe I'll spend one day comprising said list of people. I will get in touch with anyone I need to - there's this crazy feature on our phones where we can speak and another person can hear what we're saying. (I've heard Snapchat is alright, too.) Anyone whose thoughts I care about publicly reading has a Twitter, and anyone whose pictures I care about seeing has an Instagram.

Here's a picture of a sad pug, because visuals.

Please also note that this post is titled why I am deleting Facebook, and not why you should. I have no idea if you should delete Facebook - that's your call. There are too many articles on why you should do this, why you shouldn't do that, how you should spend time here or there or anywhere...too many people are telling you what you ought to be doing, and the only people that should have a say in those matters are the ones you choose to listen to. Don't let someone tell you what to do, including the nature of this sentence. If you base your life off what you read off Buzzfeed and Thought Catalog, go ahead, I'm not going to stop you. (Sorry, that paragraph has been waiting to be written for a while.)

The way that I base my life is what you can read at the top of this and any page you're reading at this blog. Facebook isn't a room I want to keep going into - I have a feeling that my relationships with people aren't contingent upon the existence of either of our Facebook accounts. I never needed Facebook to stay close with those I am close with, and never used Facebook to have contact with those I am not close with. Shun the utilitarian argument if you may, but at the end of the day, what will be, will be.

5 TV shows I want to start watching

Turn back the clock one year, when I was watching four or five episodes of Breaking Bad a day. I was captivated, I needed more, and after finishing rewatches of House and The Office, I need to watch some new material. Here are five shows I've been thinking about watching:

1. House of Cards

It seems to me that if one show had taken over Breaking Bad's you-need-to-watch-this-now title, it's House of Cards. And as was the case with Breaking Bad, I would be showing up late to the party with House of Cards. But apparently it's epic. My one reservation about picking it up is that I don't really like waiting long periods of times for new episodes - sure, the entire season is released at once, but there's still a cold period between seasons. Although Kevin Spacey might be my favorite badass actor.

Case in point for BBT - who are those two chicks on the left?

2. The Big Bang Theory

I have always been sort of a fan of this show, but not to the point where I've following it for more than a week at a time. Half-hour episodes are easy to binge through (see: the 9 seasons of The Office I watched in two months), and I've always been meaning to catch up on this show. There's just more of it to catch up on now.

3. Modern Family

Again, something I've very late to the party to. The handful of episodes I've actually seen are awesome, with that mockumentary-style that made The Office so hilarious. I feel like I'm doing a disservice to society by not having seen every episode of this series, but again, once I catch up, it's waiting every week. Which might be okay with this show since it's not as drama-driven as Lost or House.

4. The Following

This was one that I was thisclose to watching from the pilot episode, when it was on TV every week. Little did I know that it's still on TV every week, which is a nice surprise to see a new show on FOX stick around for a while. Serial killers are incredibly fascinating to me, as well as the psychology behind getting a following of people to help you out. If Dexter became one of my favorite shows, I have faith in this one.

5. The Simpsons

My work might be cut out for me on this one....more than a few episodes that would need to be watched. This is such a classic show though, that at some point it's going to have to be done. I feel like I will achieve a whole new level of weird if I've seen every Simpsons episode. Look out, world.

H / L

Go reflect, right now.

No seriously, don't even finish reading this post right now. Come back to it later. Take a few minutes from whatever you're doing (which, if you're here, is reading a post that has explicitly told you to do otherwise) and think about you. What the best part about yesterday was, what the worst part about yesterday was. The day before that, and the day before that, if you can remember far back enough.

Start compiling a list of the best parts about each day and the worst parts about each day. What's nice about this from an analytical standpoint is that you are guaranteed data. What's important about this from an analytical standpoint is what you do with said data. How you categorize the bests and worsts. Maybe you interacted with someone you haven't talked to in a while. Maybe you read something that really got you thinking about life. Maybe you're pumped about the Patriots' win against the Jets. Maybe you were really excited about something coming up. Maybe you did nothing yesterday when you had wanted to be active. Maybe you didn't get to that thing you wanted to. Maybe someone really pissed you off.

So spend a few weeks, compiling the bests and worsts of each day. Create categories for them based on what is important to how you live your life, and how you feel about how you live your life. After a few weeks, come back to it and find patterns. That you can't try to control the uncontrollable. That you can control your relationship with people. That sports, music, people, and thinking about things makes you happy, and can also make you upset. Use the patterns to live a better life, to live the way you set out for yourself.

Then, and only can, should you come back and read this post.

Out of reach

Something I'm struggling with on a secular level that I need to put into words and be done with forever - this is the third or fourth blog post I've tried to write tonight. Previous attempts have included laugh-worthy grammar mistakes, something about music, and a third thing that I can't even remember right now. But this post isn't about the secular, it's about the connection that we desire so dearly as humans. A connection shared by two individuals with equal knowledge of something. Or perhaps, lack thereof. For purposes of setting, I'm listening to the same music I listened to when writing my end-of-a-Stonehill-year blog post, and what's eating at me right now is the notion that not one person knew exactly what I was feeling at that point in time. Which is why I write, to try to put across some semblance of emotion that you can glean from a post.

The last time I was in a dark Sem common room playing Values Game was 18 months ago, which is terrifying in its own sense, but life goes on. I remember a lot of questions and answers from that night, but one in particular that is relevant now is what superpower I would have. Breaking from the flying/invisibility majority, I decided that I want to be able to experience pure empathy. And I don't mean a nice understanding of what you just experienced, I mean that I want to know exactly what you were feeling in the moment in which you were feeling it. The only way that I think this can happen is if two people are sharing such a moment together. I'd like to think that I have a wide selection of examples to choose from, but one that comes to mind right now is the click at 9:27 of "The Only Moment We Were Alone." There's a particular relevance of those two drum sticks colliding, that you probably don't know about. (If you do, thanks for reading.) There's a buildup right before the part with the click that kind of overcame me one day when I was driving, possibly on the highway. I'm not sure anymore, but it was a moment that felt incredibly real to me, one that I wish I could properly explain with words. But the thing is that I can't, and unless you were in that car with me, you're not going to know the tension and release that came through that part of the song (which I've switched over to listening to).

I want to know what you feel when you're staring over an expansive sea of beauty as the sun beats down on your neck. I want my heart to beat as far out of my chest as yours as you stand watching a ball suspended in midair, waiting to fall through a hoop. I want to see as far down to the ground as you do, walking on a quarter-inch of rope, tens of thousands of feet in the air. And I want to leave you with the thought of what I'm feeling, what you're feeling, and what you wonder others to be feeling. The human connection is strong, but we will never be able to perfectly capture multiple experiences as one. Perhaps that is the beauty of it all. For now, it remains just out of reach.

Can you feel what they do?

Canvas

I wish I had studied writing a little more when I had the chance. It's interesting that I phrase it that way, because in all likelihood, I have the chance, it's just a matter of digging into the depths of what exactly that entails.

There's a lot of potential energy in this world, in a metaphorical sense. I am not nearly the writer I could be, and I believe that the same holds true for anyone else. Are we ever fully what we are?

There's a term in developmental psychology called the zone of proximal development. I italicize it there so you focus on it. The zone of proximal development is the space between what we can do on our own, and what we cannot do on our own - this is otherwise known as what we can do with help.

How exactly you define "help" is entirely up to you. The space between where I am and where I could be as a writer is filled with help from books, movies, articles, conversations...anything that has tools to make me a better writer. Teachers and instructors are help. Personal trainers are help. Therapists are help. Textbooks are help.

One way you could visualize the zone of proximal development is to imagine a chasm to be crossed. How you go from one side to the other is your help. For me, I like to imagine it as a canvas. An empty plane on which help will be ascribed to.

Think about something that you want to do with the time you have. Where do you currently stand, and how far do you want to go? What steps will you take to reach your goals? These are questions that are commonly asked, and one that I'm pushing you to think about is, what help is there?

7 mega-fun songs

I've been posting quite a bit about music lately, and here's a post that is more evidence of that. Ten super-awesome, mega-fun songs that are worth listening to, and if you're into the whole dancing-around-your-room thing, then that too.

1. Silhouettes - Colony House
I haven't read the lyrics for this song yet, but whatever this song is about, it's very fun. Kinda trippy, but fun.

2. If You Wanna - The Vaccines
I have read the lyrics for this song, and it's definitely not a collection of lyrics that make it seem a mega-fun song. But it totally sounds that way, and this song reminds me of getting ready for weekend shenanigans at Stonehill, so hooray!

3. Party Hard - Andrew W.K.
Those that remember Madden 03 (that seriously came out 12 years ago?) will enjoy this one. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, try this Android commercial.

4. Battles - Hudson Taylor
This song makes me want to drive really, really fast on the highway. Hell, this song makes me want to drive fast anywhere. It also has the greatest two bars of sudden a capella (2:49), a perfect setup for the crash.

5. I Ain't The Same - Alabama Shakes
First off, Alabama Shakes are an excellent band. Secondly, and fittingly, this is a PERFECT song for this group to play after their opening song at concerts. Everyone's cheering them after their first song, and before they can quiet down, the two-beat pickup starts and everyone cheers more. According to setlist.fm, they've played the song 25 times since June 2013...never second. Damn.

6. I'm On a Boat - The Lonely Island, feat. T.I.
Hell yeah this song is on this list. If you haven't heard this song before, any of my words can't do it justice. Enjoy.

7. Paradise By the Dashboard Light - Meatloaf
Not exactly sure how to explain this song being on this list, because it totally doesn't fit in with any of the other songs here. I had been trying to find this song for a while, knew that Glee sang it (which they did), and I've always had a predilection for two-part songs.

And, I think I'll stop there. Primarily because I found a video of the top ten most heartstopping WWE returns ever, and as much as I've been on a music kick lately, I've been on a nostalgia trip to my days as a professional wrestling fan.

Every censored swear in The Office

Well, I was going to post a list of every episode that had a censored swear in The Office, but this has already been done. Enjoy one of my shortest blog posts ever and this link to the list of episodes!