Instantaneous

A few years ago, I wrote about what breaks you (rather, me), and the fragility and vulnerability of feeling that you (again, I) could be broken. The song I referenced in that blog post is the same song I'm listening to right now, and the same song that I've talked about plenty of times here. One of the beautiful aspects of music is that it can evoke such emotion, or perhaps a particular mindset. Sometimes this phenomenon works in the other direction, where a certain thought or phrase brings to mind a song that perpetuates the cycle. This time around, it's the latter.

The acute awareness of the finality of death.

In said previous blog post, I talked about feeling close to death, perhaps via car crash or falling from a building. It is one thing to know that we are all going to die eventually - I believe that is is another to have, well, an acute awareness of the finality of death.

And sure, call me cute in using those exact words when something more simpler may very well suffice, but that adds to the awareness for me, to have such a clear-cut description of what this is all leading to. Maybe I'll want to change it to the acute awareness of the finality of life, because it seems to be just as true as the finality of death - that is, at least for now. No saying what is going to happen to us at the end of this life, which is exactly my point. I've said it plenty of times before - this is all we get. You can believe there's more, you can believe this is meaningless, but whatever you fall asleep at night telling yourself, you just don't know. There's only right now. There is only the acute awareness of the finality of the instantaneous.